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A Realistic Action Plan for the Overwhelmed Mom

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overwhelmed momAre you exhausted, depleted, completely drained? Do you feel like the walls are closing in on you? Do you feel like your head is spinning with all the noise going on in your house? Does it seem impossible to even catch your breath? Do you find yourself just wishing for even a moment to yourself?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then chances are you are feeling overwhelmed, and you are in good company.

Every single mother who took part in building this series, whether a young mom or a seasoned mom, spoke of feeling overwhelmed as a mom at times. Then again, it seems as though it is common to feel overwhelmed rather frequently as a mom.

Sometimes I long for the way things used to be when generations lived under the same roof or even when not only families, but when friends and communities were there to support each other.

First, let me be completely honest with you. This is me. Right now. Today.

I am overwhelmed. Life is extremely busy, our home has been a dumping grounds for people who are coming and going, the end of the year grading needs to be done, summer activities need to be scheduled, and then there is a ton of outdoor work that needs to be done now that warmer weather is here.

These things are reality and aren’t going anywhere, but, there are things we can do to dampen these feelings. I wish there were some magic formula, oh how I wish there were, but there are things we can do today to offer just a bit of relief.

I am going to be taking some of these steps right along with you.

  1. Plan an escape. I did this just yesterday, in fact. I told my husband that he needs to take the kids away from my house for an entire day this week. For me this looks a bit different since I am still breastfeeding my youngest, but he will be leaving me a babysitter for the baby and taking the rest of the kids with him. I will have the place to myself to get things done. After an entire day on my own, I will be able to get on top of things. I can’t wait. Knowing this day is on the calendar this week has given me just a little bit of breathing room.
  2. Delegate one task that is looming over your head to someone else. Something big that you can take off your plate. You need some margin in your life, and removing something from your plate can do that. In my case, I have assigned my oldest to do some of the grading that I usually do for the younger kids. She will do fine, and I will have some room to breathe.
  3. Do something, today, to make yourself feel pretty. Curl your hair, paint your toenails, put on something nice that you don’t usually wear around the house. Whatever it is, make yourself pretty today.picjumbo.com_HNCK3958
  4. In the next week, go shopping to buy yourself one thing. For those of you who know me personally I can hear you laughing. For those who don’t I will let you in on my secret. I loathe shopping. In the rare case that I have to go to the mall (which is usually only to get some free undies from Victoria’s Secret…more on this some other time) I have a strategic plan on how to spend the least amount of time there as possible. Then, I am in and out of there like a ninja – you can never actually see me there I’m that fast. I’m being totally serious. So if I am telling you to shop, this is pretty amazing. It doesn’t have to cost much – it could be a journal, a new scarf, that expensive mascara you have always wanted, or even something for the house. Buy something just.for.you. This week.
  5. Find someone to connect with. Find one person to be real with. One person who you can say things to like, “I can’t stand my kids today.” We have all said these words, and at times, we all still have moments like this when life just gets the best of us. Don’t take your frustration out on your kids or your spouse. Get a person. Just one person who can provide you strength when you have none. If you watch Grey’s Anatomy, get yourself a Christina for your Meredith Grey.
  6. Go to bed early tonight. No matter what you have going on, no matter what you think needs to be done, no matter how big of a train wreck your day will be tomorrow if you go to bed early, go to bed two hours earlier tonight. If you are like me and are on your own at night…put a movie on for the kids and head up to your room to rest until they can go to bed. This is the next closest thing to you going to bed early, but make sure the kids are in bed as early as they can be to get you to bed two hours early. If you are like me you are cringing at this one. “Two hours? I can get so much done in two hours!” I hear you, I am there with you, let’s just do it. Seriously. We can thank me tomorrow. I know this is an essential component to restoring our sanity.  coffee-690349_1280
  7. Embrace some perspective. This is where the advice of the seasoned moms comes in. We as seasoned moms are telling you that this season will pass, things won’t always be this hard, you don’t have to get it all done, tomorrow is a new day, your hard work will pay off, and you’re doing a great job. This is coming from the perspective of some of the strongest seasoned moms I know. Hear our words, hear our hearts, it will be okay. We promise.

Feeling overwhelmed is a normal place to be for young moms (and even for us not so young moms as you can see). Cut yourself some slack, give yourself permission to be human, give yourself the credit you deserve, and take some steps to restore your mind, soul, and heart today. Motherhood is full of seasons and as many of the seasoned moms said, “This too shall pass.”

Keep up the good work.

Come back tomorrow when I will offer some help to the mom who feels stuck at home all.the.time.

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14 Comments

    1. haha, Sarah Ann, me, too! I need to read this a few more times today. Thanks so much for sharing!

  1. I went to bed early last night. For those who read this yesterday, did you?!

  2. #5 The lack of this I think is the reason I feel so isolated and overwhelmed. I have no one to talk to. Sure there’s the occasionally coffee date or chat at church. But no one that I can really call a friend. No one that knows my heart and that I can trust to be honest with. I am a wife and mom but have no extended family. So often I feel cursed – that I am broken and undeserving of meaningful relationships. This past week was just about a breaking point for me and I am so close to giving up. I am also so tired of the conflicting stories we get within the church: If you struggle, you are not ‘leaning on the Lord’ or ‘trusting in Christ’ ; if you don’t admit your struggles you’re not ‘bring real’.

    1. I’m sorry you’re struggling, Marie. I agree that sometimes the church assumes our problems to boil down to a lack of faith. That only if we were stronger Christians, we could be full. As long as we are on this earth, however, we are still human.

      Isolation is real, and you are not the only one to speak of this. I heard this from 5 young moms as one of their top concerns. I am addressing making connections in this series. I have a skeleton outline of the whole series, and I can tell you this will be addressed yet this week, I am just not positive on the day. Making things within the series more concrete is happening during my office hours this afternoon. I can tell you it could be as early as tomorrow though.

      Don’t lose heart, you’re doing great, and there is a strong community of moms who read here. You’re in good company and someplace where you can find hope in the topics I cover but also in the comments that other readers share.

      I’m so happy to have you here 🙂
      Jennifer

  3. I totally laughed at #4!!!!! Because I know you and because I hate shopping, too! But I bought myself a pair of “sexy shoes” for my sister-in-law’s wedding and I feel so pretty when I wear them. Sometimes I put them on and walk around my bedroom in them when I’m having a rough time. In a house full of boys, I think I’ve earned some pretty 🙂

    1. I know, right?! We are so much alike in so many ways. You deserve pretty more than anyone I know. You’ll have to show me your shoes when I see you in a couple weeks. Maybe I’ll bring mine and we can strut around like we own the place. Wait, you do own the place. Well, we can strut around anyway 🙂

      1. I think maybe you should try wearing those shoes when your lively boys need some correction. They just might be speechless enough to really listen and obey! What about if you did laundry in your shoes? I would totally do that if I was having a rough day. Totally laughing right now….

        1. I love it! The boys would crack up to see me go get my shoes on before they get grounded! They’d never expect that – gotta keep them guessing 🙂

  4. I love all these ideas! I am decidedly not girly, even though I love makeup and hair and nails, I never do them for myself. But, I went out and bought some mint green nail polish for myself and painted my nails. It doesn’t stay nice for very long with three wee ones in the house, but it is still nice to look down and see the color!

    1. I struggle with doing my nails for the same reason…with so much water and cleaning all the time it has a life of less than 12 hours it seems. I do always feel a little perkier with it on though 🙂

  5. I, too, am struggling with the feelings of being overwhelmed lately. My daughter just finished her junior year of high school and we are now dealing with college application essays, SAT scores, senior pictures, etc.. My boys are 12 and 13 and busy with their own activities as well. There always is so much to do and I can’t seem to get a handle on projects (redecorating, i.e.- can’t even find time to go shopping for new furniture!). I love your idea of shopping for myself for one thing this week (I don’t really enjoy shopping for clothes). Having my toes painted a pretty color every 3 weeks is a great treat- so nice to look down and see a pretty color. I do make an effort to get together with someone “real” every now and then. It really does help!!

    1. Ugh! It just never seems to end, does it?!I am needing to read this post for myself today since I just texted a friend to say that I won’t have time to sleep for the next week. It really does feel that way…Thanks for reading, Denise! We’ll get through it!

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