Maintaining the Relationship in the Midst of Disobedience

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If you have kids, you know that disobedience is just part of life. In fact, as adults, we aren’t perfect either, are we?! However, when disobedience comes, it is so important to maintain the relationship in the midst of the disobedience. Preserving our relationships and speaking to the hearts of our children should be first and foremost.

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If you are a regular reader here you may have noticed that I am often posting in the wee hours of the morning. I enjoy working late into the night/early into the morning since it is quiet and I can get so much accomplished that way. I am blessed to be able to not need a full eight hours of sleep, however, everyone’s sickness finally caught up with me a bit and I have been fighting it for the past week. Last night I was asleep by 11, which is basically unheard of for me.

As a result, I did not have the strength or the ability to make the rounds to check on the kids’ chores last night. They are kids. I guess it isn’t really all that surprising that many things were left undone last night.

After breakfast and chores were done this morning, I went upstairs to discover the bathroom floor so littered with clothes, towels, and random things, all of which belonged to three kids in particular, that you couldn’t even see the floor. I should have snapped a picture, but I think my head was spinning too much 😉

Prior to them starting their work, I explained a few things, which is how I did my best to speak to their hearts.

• I told them I had confidence in the fact that my expectation of them to clean up after themselves is not out of line, nor it it expecting too much.
• Then, I told each of them that I knew they wanted to obey, but that at times they just lost sight of that when a selfish desire is at the root and something else seems more appealing than obeying does. I also told them that I loved them and their desire to do what is right.
• Next, I reviewed exactly what the expectations are in regards to cleaning up after themselves, especially when it comes to them leaving their things all over in a common living area, which is disrespectful to others who share the same space.
• Since it was a group offense and a group punishment, I will have each of them ask for forgiveness from God, myself, and the others who use the bathroom along with them at a later time, on an individual basis.
• The final step in dealing with this act of disobedience today was for the three of them to do some extra cleaning in the bathrooms, which meant cleaning the ceiling vents and washing the floors.

Although it was tempting to just get after them to clean up their things, it was empowering to follow the steps I feel are important from start to finish. So often I don’t do it right the first time. They all appreciated feeling validated and told that I love them, and they were all understanding of the steps that were taken in dealing with the root of selfishness.

Today, I felt successful in maintaining the relationship in the midst of disobedience.

How were you intentional today?  How did you follow one of your plans through from beginning to end?