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How to Have Confidence No Matter What You Face

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Do you struggle with confidence? I think we all do at times, especially because we face things that demand we travel outside of our comfort zone. Here are some ideas that you can implement to have confidence no matter what you face.

how to have confidenceMy 14 year old daughter had a rough year last school year. I am told it is hormones, and maybe it is, but she has been very out of sorts. Usually calm, cool, and collected, she had a hard time dealing with performing under pressure, and the results were very humbling to her. She learned what it means to not be the best at something, which was a hard lesson to learn since she simply buckled under pressure and had the ability to do so much better.

My daughter is somewhat gifted in a few areas, and even in these areas she fell flat this past year. She could prepare, and prepare, and prepare, but to no avail as when it came time to perform her nerves simply got the best of her. This was so hard for her, and also so hard for her mom, since everyone involved knew she was capable of so much more, but in the end, it didn’t matter what she was capable of.

As we face another year when she will be performing, I have done some research and deep thinking of what I can do to build up her confidence.

We all face times when we need an extra boost of confidence. Maybe it is a job interview, maybe it is an unpleasant confrontation, or maybe it is performance based as in my daughter’s case, but if you are looking to build some confidence in yourself, here are some things you can do today.

Start listening to others who believe in you.

Share your concerns with those who know you well and ask them to identify your strong qualities. Ask them what it is about you that could bring you success in the area you need confidence in.

For instance, I would share with my daughter about what makes her a great flute player since this is where she needs her confidence. I would remind her of her success in the past and build her up in reminding her of the qualities she has that make her an asset to the groups she is a part of.

In this way, find people who know where your talents are and ask them for ways that your gifts and talents will help you in the area where you feel insecure or unsure.

Change the way you look at disappointment

I posted a quote from Thomas Edison one time in which he talks about how he failed thousands of times before figuring out to make a lightbulb work. He didn’t see these as failures, however, he saw them as stepping stones to finally getting it right. Failure is all in how you look at it.

The long, hard road is often what gets us to the mountaintop experiences. For most people, you can’t have one without the other. When you shift your thinking about failure as a disappointment to failure being an important step in your path to greatness, if you do go for that job and are passed over, it will be so much easier to live with.

Exude confidence no matter what you feel like on the inside

Confident people make eye contact, they speak freely and clearly, and confident people are outgoing, have good posture, and hold their head high. No matter what you face, you have a lot to offer. Looking the part is the first step.manager-454866_1280

Develop a routine before you face whatever situation you are needing to feel confident in

Before you go in for that job interview, listen to a song that inspires you, read quotes like the one from Thomas Edison, quiet your mind, or pray, whatever will psych your little self up, do it before you go in for the interview every time. This is huge for me as an athlete. Even in running, I listen to the same song at the end of my run every time when I am pushing myself beyond my limit. In fact, I have forgotten to bring my music to the gym once and drove home to get it. I would not be able to have a good run without it.

Kick any nervous habits to the curb

My daughter does not bite her nails, except while she is waiting for her turn to perform. I am working with her on this. Once she starts biting her nails, her confidence takes a nose dive. Somehow this simple thing has triggered a bad connotation in her mind, which then gives way to her nerves. Stopping the nail biting before it starts puts an end to that triggered response.


Pause and take a deep breath before you walk in to whatever situation you face. Take that moment or two to ground yourself, to speak positive words to yourself (out loud), or to look at a picture of your kids if that calms your nerves. Whatever you are walking into, an extra minute won’t be of concern for the other people involved, but it can make a monumental difference in how you come across, how you perform, and in how you feel about the whole experience.

In summary, I think there are times when we all lack the confidence we need. Following these simple tips will help give you that push you need to face any situation head on not only with confidence, but also with grace, poise, and even a smile.

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