A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who is Stuck At Home

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Are you a single parent? Are you married, but on your own so much you are like a single parent in ways? Are you without any family or friends nearby? Do health concerns, no transportation, or some other obstacle keep you at home all the time?

If these things describe you, I am right there with you. My husband has always worked outside of the home at least 70 hours a week with transportation time, and when he is home he is sleeping while the kids are up since he works night and sleeps days. This leaves me on my own—a lot!

I also have kids who have terrible immune systems for some unknown reason despite doing herbal supplements, essential oils, and expensive vitamins. For this reason we have always had to chose our events and activities wisely, and sparingly.

This was also a common thread among the young moms I interviewed for this series. Feelings of isolation and the overwhelming undertaking that being a mom is when you are primarily the only one there.

So if you are stuck at home for what seems to be weeks or months on end (I know it can feel this way at times) here are some things that I have found to be helpful over the years.

• Shift your focus. I start off with this because I feel it is the most important. Please don’t let it frustrate you. I know your feelings of isolation are real and can’t be “mind-over-mattered” away, but shifting how you view your time and role really is the first step. View your role as a mom to be a mission, a calling, even a ministry as you are a tool in shaping future generations. Especially when we are stuck at home in the mundane reality of life day after day, it is so easy to belittle ourselves and what we are doing. We minimize our role, our reach, and our value if we don’t not see motherhood for the enormous undertaking and calling that it is. Remember, you are the one chosen to be a mom to your kids. Not anyone else. You are the perfect one for the job.
• Write a mission statement for your job as a mom. Again, I know the tendency may be to skip over this step – to not see this step as one of any value. But from one mom to another, one single-ish mom to another, trust me that it is of the utmost of importance. A mission statement is similar to making goals, but there is a bit more meat to the plans and aspirations you are making. I have a skeleton post formed on writing a mission statement so there will be help coming here soon on this one if you are not sure where to start.
• Dress for the job. If you dress seriously for your job as a mom, your kids will take you more seriously, too. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of days that I wait way too long to get out of my pajamas, but in retrospect, the days when I am dressed early are always more productive with less tension between myself and my kids, and my overall outlook was brighter, too.
• Fill your tank first. I have mentioned this concept a few different times before. I guess it’s that important. There is a reason why on an airplane you are to secure your own oxygen mask first before helping your kids. The concept is the same. If you take nothing in, you will have nothing to give out. Spend some time doing whatever it is that fills your tank.
• Make an effort to get out of the house. Anything is better than being stuck inside your four walls. Walk to the mailbox, go for a quick drive, or hang out laundry (this is something I love. I do it because it is frugal, but I do it more for the little bursts of joy that the fresh air and sunshine bring to my day), but get outside. When I had three or even four little kids, we went for a walk every single day as long as the weather permitted. Year round. Just get out of the house for a bit, probably more often than you really feel like it.
• Connect with other moms. I will speak more on this within this series — this is a major concern among the moms I interviewed so if you struggle with knowing how to connect from your home, help is on the way. But, for our purpose right now, finding a way to connect with other moms is vital.
• Find help on a regular basis. Maybe only once a month, but if you have something on the calendar once a month even for just a couple of hours, it can be just enough to put the wind in your sails. Hire a young teen to come over just to play with your kids while you are still home, find a mom whose children have all grown who can babysit, or exchange times of “kid watching” with a friend when she takes your kids for an afternoon and you swap later. Use these ideas or figure out something else that will work, but find yourself some help.
• Develop structure and routine in your days. If you have a regular routine, you can put things on auto-pilot at times, which helps conserve the energy that being a mom depletes every day. Routine and structure help both you and your kids in many ways, and the time you put into it will pay off and then some.
• Don’t try to meet the expectations of others. Focus on your own mission statement and limit your exposure to those who are not supportive of your mission, your execution, or your results. Also, limit your exposure to those who make you feel inadequate either intentionally or unintentionally.
• Finally, give yourself grace for where you fall short because we all fall short every day. Recognize that your work as a mom is hard, give yourself permission to be human, and focus only on what is directly is ahead of you. A part of my prayers every night is that God would fill in the gaps that I left behind as a mom to each of my children that day. I know I will never meet all of the needs of all of my children every day. Even if I only had one child, I would still not be a perfect parent and therefore be in need of grace for the things I didn’t do, the things I didn’t do well, or the things I totally missed. Grace. It’s such a beautiful thing.

If you find yourself feeling like the walls are closing in on you, even implementing just a few of these suggestions can renew your spirit. Sometimes it only takes a little bit of creativity to make your spirit soar.

Come back tomorrow when I share just how it is that you can connect with other moms.

You can find the first day’s post, What in the World Have I Gotten Myself Into, here.

You can find day two’s post, A Realistic Action Plan for the Overwhelmed Mom, here.