Dealing With Criticism in Homeschooling

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If you’ve been homeschooling for any length of time, you know that dealing with criticism about your decision to homeschool, your methodology of how you homeschool, and so much more is fairly commonplace. If you’re new to the idea of homeschooling, you heard it here first: criticism is simply part of homeschooling. As a veteran homeschooler for more than 10 years, I have gotten used to it.

I think criticism can be a good thing. Criticism in regards to any matter makes us reexamine our motives, to stay strong in our convictions, and to constantly revisit our calling or passion to various things.

In this way, I don’t think dealing with criticism about homeschooling is really all that bad, but it can be if we don’t handle it well. I did speak some about external pressure within the homeschool setting and even internal pressure as well. Those are a great place to start as they are very real concepts in a homeschool setting as well.

I think it is also wise to be aware of criticism, how to handle it, and where it comes from. With this in mind, let’t discuss this a bit further.

Are you dealing with criticism in homeschooling? Here are the 10 most common sources of criticism. When you know about these sources, you are more able to handle them with grace when they occur.

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1. Those who don’t understand

There are so many things in life that people know nothing about but assume that they do. Many well meaning people make assumptions and simply buy into things they have heard somewhere. It is common to hear about socialization fears, and a lack of friendship building opportunities, and so much more in regards to homeschooling. However, keeping in mind that many people who mention things like this just have no understanding about any of these things in the first place is helpful.

2. Those who don’t want to understand

Taking the first point a bit further, there are those who don’t want to hear anything you have to say on the matter. If you were to speak to them about their concern of socialization, for instance, they wouldn’t really listen to what you have to say about it anyway. You will know these people when you meet them. I find there is little to no value in having much of a conversation with them once you figure that out.

3. Those who have heard of a bad homeschool experience

It is interesting that the common assumption is that all homeschoolers are the same. Of course you know that they are not, but it really is a common assumption. When a bad story comes out about a homeschooling family, there are those who look at all homeschoolers using that same lens. For instance, the scandal with Josh Duggar was a bit scary for the homeschooling movement since there are those who assume that all homeschooling families will yield the same results. Of course this is very flawed thinking, but there are many people who lump all homeschooling families together, and often not in a good way.

4. Negative people who just like to criticize

You know the type. It doesn’t matter what you do, they will find a reason to criticize you for it. These are the type who can tell you to do it one way, and then when you do that way they will find a way to criticize you about doing it that way. You know these people. Just accept them as that and move on.

5. Those who want you to fail

Even worse than those who like to criticize are those who want you to fail. These are people who are generally unhappy and having their own issues, which they then attempt to make your issues (and everyone else’s). For whatever reason, they are wanting and hoping to see you fail, so they will do whatever they can to try to make that happen.

6. Those who are insecure in their own parenting

These are an interesting group of people. These are the sorts of people who feel in some way personally threatened by your decisions as a parent. I’m guessing it’s not only your decision to homeschool, but many other parenting issues as well. Those who feel insecure in their own parenting try to bring other parents down by putting them down, often spreading rumors or lies to do so. I have been a victim of these kinds of people. It isn’t nice, but at times it is unavoidable. I find it most effective to try to limit my exposure to these types.

7. Competitive parents

I’m sure you know these types, too, and it doesn’t just pertain to homeschooling. These are the parents whose children are always the best and who can do know wrong in their eyes – even when it is happening right in front of them. These are the types who like to make everything a competition and are always trying to engage others in doing this as well. I find it best just not to engage. Praise the wonderfulness of their children by agreeing with them, but leave your kids out of the equation. They will never measure up anyway.

8. Fellow homeschoolers who think they are the only ones who’ve got homeschooling figured out

I think one of the things I love most about homeschooling is how incredibly diverse it is. What happens in my home will be different from what happens in your home, even if we are doing the very same thing. Countless dynamics come into play, but there are some fellow homeschoolers who don’t feel the same way. I find it most effective just to keep quiet and agree with them when necessary.

9. Those who see only what they want to see

This is one of those things that can apply to a much more than homeschooling as well. Assumptions are just one of the nastiest things, really, and they cause so many problems within families, within friendships, within neighborhoods, and just about everywhere else. I find these to be made by those who are also generally unhappy, but these are the people who take something and force it to fit into the mold they want it to fit into.

10. Die hard public or private school advocates

There are those who feel that public or private school is the only answer no matter what. Generally close-minded, whether they support public or private school, it is the only way in their mind. Again, just keeping quiet and keeping your distance is a good thing.

Dealing with criticism in anything isn’t easy, and criticism about homeschooling isn’t any different. I find being prepared for it and understanding where and why it happens greatly helps.

These are the 10 most common sources of criticism that I have discovered in 10 years. Maybe they can help you be more prepared for the criticism when you find yourself on the receiving end.