Lingering

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Do you ever just stop to realize how temporary today is? How fleeting each moment is? How quickly life passes us by? Do you ever just take the time to do some lingering?

In reality, we cannot walk away from this truth:

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The beauty of the opportunity, the transparent ugliness of the opportunities we knowingly don’t take, the opportunities we blow, and even worse, the opportunities we never even take a whisper of a moment to notice, are all one in the same – at least when it comes to the passing of time.

What about when we struggle? In the midst of a struggle we so often wish those moments away. We wish, hope, and pray for reprieve from that which weighs us down heavy. Unbearably heavy at times.

We all know those times, don’t we? We all have them. The weight that suffocates us might come in different packages, but the weight suffocates us all the same. You and me.

Have you met Kara at Mundane Faithfulness? She was all about living in the hard, living in the ugly, living in the real and making it beautiful. If she can make it beautiful, can’t I? I did not met her in person, but I feel like I knew her, and my heart had been bleeding with her for quite some time.

If you have not read her books, you should, here there are:

Big Love: the practice of loving beyond your limits

The Hardest Peace: Expecting Grace in the Midst of Life’s Hard

Kara’s books are all about taking the ugly and making it beautiful. They are about holding tightly to each and every moment, no matter what those moments look like. She was a beautiful woman who lived out her cancer battle for everyone to see. Not in a bad way, but in a way that shows us all how to find beauty in the suffering. Then, earlier this year, she lost her well-fought battle, and she did that with such grace, too.

In addition to living more intentionally last year, I was called to be thankful this year.  This is a banner that hangs in my living room to remind me of counting gifts, like Ann talks about in One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. Another great read if you have not.

Please ignore the pumpkins on my banner as it is designed to be for the Thanksgiving season, but I choose to be thankful all year round and just haven’t covered up those silly pumpkins 😉

I find that when we focus on lingering (linger is one of my key words for this year) in each moment, I see things that are much more vibrant than they were before. Lingering is defined as staying in a place longer than usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave (emphasis mine).  Reluctance to leave. I like that part.

What if we were more reluctant to leave each moment? I would guess that even in her hard, Kara may have been feeling reluctant to leave each moment. What would it look like to linger in this way?

For me, I picture myself sitting in a hammock in the sun more, curled up with a good book in front of the fire more, playing games with my littles more, walking hand in hand with my husband more. I would savor each bite of food rather than inhaling things on the fly from one place to another, I would listen to a friend over coffee more, I would spend more time with those who are suffering, giving them my hand, my eyes, my heart.

In lingering, I am embracing what I have, while giving no thought to what I don’t. I am fully present, fully aware, and fully captivated by what I have all around me. In lingering, I am creating a past that will capture the very essence of that which matters to me most.

Today will always be the past tomorrow, there is no way to hold back time, but we can choose the colors in the mosaic that will one day be the beautiful tapestry that is our life and our legacy. Today, I choose to create my mosaic using the vibrant colors that represent moments that I have fully lived in. Moments that I have fully lingered in. Join me?