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Are you the worst mom? Ever?
I am a mom of 8 at the present time, so I can actually tell you a bit about being the worst mom ever.
Maybe you have a certain mom you know in mind.
You know that mom who you think has it all together?
She’s the mom whose kids are always smiling, and when they speak they do it in that sing-song voice. And, of course they never fight.
She is always dressed in the latest trends, yet she looks comfortable and even approachable. She’s got a warm smile and a genuineness about her that makes you feel like she’s your long lost best friend.
Her home? If you were to stop by at any time it would like like the latest spread in Pottery Barn. And, she somehow manages to have the best looking display outside, too.
You know that mom?
Then there’s you. The worst mom ever.
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You’d have to spend a minute thinking about the last time you took a shower. In fact, you never even got dressed today, if you’re being honest.
You know you’re supposed to give your kids healthy home-cooked meals, but that just never happened today. You settled for the first thing that jumped out at you in the cupboard. That just happened to be the stuff that comes in the blue box.
Some days, you forget to help your first grader with their homework. Other days you just choose to forget it since you’re so tired by the time you’ve cleaned up dinner.
Your nine year old acts like a preteen most days and has this attitude that has come completely out of left field. She’s even told you she hated you once. Nope, twice.
You would love to have time to clean the grimy handprints off the front window. But you’re more than happy to call it a win when you get all the dishes put in the dishwasher for the day. The nasty windows will just have to wait.
And then, by the time you finally got all the kids in bed the first one had already climbed out of bed for the third time to ask you for yet another drink.
So, you snap.
You find yourself screaming at your five year old who got out of bed, telling him how all you want is just a little peace and quiet. As you scoop him up to put him back in bed you step on your seven year old’s matchbox car and only come further unglued.
It’s about two minutes after you put your five year old back in bed (in a not so gentle way) that you find yourself wishing you could just go back to the old days.
The old days when you came home after a long day at work to find the house just as you left it – nice and clean. Shortly after you arrived home your husband walked through the door. Together you decided just to go out for dinner.
After dinner you came back home to your clean house and proceeded to get into your comfy pajamas. You curled up on the couch with the latest edition of House Beautiful while your husband sat in his chair watching Sports Center.
The good old days.
Why can’t I just go back to the good old days?
And suddenly, the guilt comes in, and you know that you are the worst mom ever. You just wished all your kids away.
What’s wrong with me?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you.
Most all moms have felt like they are the worst mom ever. And, if you meet one who tells you she hasn’t, she’s lying to you.
It is totally normal to feel like the worst mom ever, and it is totally normal to reminisce about the good old days when the only thing you had to worry about was where to go for dinner on date night.
Did your harsh words and your short temper make your child cry even though they didn’t do anything to warrant such treatment?
It’s ok. It happens.
Let me tell you something about that mom we talked about in the beginning.
Psssst, lean in close.
She doesn’t have it all together like you think she does.
Do you think you’re the worst mom ever?
I can assure you, you’re not.
And as a mom of 8 and someone who talks to all kinds of other moms every day, I can tell you that you’re not the only mom who has wished she wasn’t a mom. More than once.
When you feel this way, know you’re not alone and dump the guilt you feel as well.
Tomorrow is a new day. Know that your kids still love you, and in most cases you haven’t done anything that will scar them for life.
Being a mom is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s hard work, too.
So when you’re feeling like the worst mom ever, remember that it’s because you love your kids that you even bothered to think such a thing.
And then have some chocolate.
Try to call it a night early, and then you’ll get up ready to fight another day.
To the worst mom ever, it’s going to be ok…and so are you.