The 15 Essentials of Motherhood – Inspirational Reads Chapter 7
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Sometimes this can be so hard. This motherhood thing. It is the only job I can think of where we are trying to work our way out of a job. I have been a mom for more than 15 years, I can say that there is nothing that has ever been more demanding or more rewarding in my life.
While I haven’t made it through to adulthood with any of my kids yet, I can say that there are numerous stages in the life of a mom, and each one is so unique both in the challenges and in the amazing moments.
There are what I call the 15 essentials of motherhood, but I think first it is important to understand the lifecycle of being a mother because each of the essentials come into play during the different phases of being a mother.
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First there are the early years
During the early years the physical demands are high – the sleepless nights, the meals, the endless clean up, the constant supervision when even a one minute trip to the bathroom can seem like a well deserved vacation, and that is if you even get to go there by yourself at all! You do the same thing day after day only to wake up and do it all over again. This is especially true if you are the one to care for your children on your own for the majority of the day.
Next come the kid years
The early years give way to the kid years when the demands on our time change to some extent, but the reward begins to come, too. As our children gain a little bit of independence, we do also, and we feel as though we are finding our own way a bit more – finding our own way on our own path along this journey called motherhood.
These years are no less demanding, but they also provide the first glimpse into what we may one day reap as we have been busy sowing the seeds we long to have take root in our children.
I think these are the years that we have to be the most intentional. What you put in during these years becomes evident during the teen years. It seems that generally speaking, if you are an absent parent during these years, you are more likely to have an absent teen.
It is greatly beneficial to have a teen who wants you to be involved in their lives rather than a teen who tries to shut you out. Make the time to be totally intentional during these kid years.
Next are the tween years
The kid years give way to the tween years. The tween years. Changing bodies, changing hormones, increasing demands on both our children and on us, and it is only the beginning of yet another chapter in what I call the delicate dance of motherhood.
Just when you figure your tween out, at least on a small scale, they do a complete shift and you are left to find your way again.
When I think back to my days as a kid, I recall these years as my most challenging years. Even I couldn’t keep up with my crazy self! I find this so beneficial to remember as I parent my tweens.
And then the almighty teens!
Not to be forgotten are the teen years when the stakes get higher and our finger needs to be tightly on the pulse of our children, yet from a safe distance that gets increasingly further and further away. This is where the pulling away really takes place, and it is where you really want it to take place.
Teenager hood is the last stop before adulthood, which is why you and I want our teens to move away from us. However, we want them to move away from us into a healthy, responsible, and respectable way. We want our kids to be amazing adults, but this doesn’t just happen.
Kids who become responsible adults happen as a result of you and I making our way through the delicate dance of motherhood.
They say an important part of being a parent is giving our children both roots and wings, but I have found this to be so much easier said than done. However, the theory is a good one. Having to balance being a mom who is called to protect our children while also being a supporter, an encourager, and a silent observer as our children embark on their own journey. This concept is what I mean when I refer to the delicate dance of motherhood.
If you have older children as I do, you know how these years fly by at a dizzying pace that can only be described as being on a merry-go-round much, much too long. You know, it’s that swirling feeling in your head and that ache in the pit of your stomach – these are part of the dance of motherhood, too. These things are what also make us stronger as moms.
As I reflect on how I have made it through motherhood thus far, I find these things to be essential. These are the 15 essentials of motherhood.
1. Daily praying for wisdom…maybe more than once a day
2. Being there, physically, emotionally, and spiritually even when it’s not convenient for me
3. Listening with my heart more than I listen with my ears
4. Learning to read between the lines
5. Being a student of each of my kids. They are all different and therefore need to be parented different
6. Being fluid. Things are always changing, I must be fluid if I am to keep up
7. Being willing to admit when I’m wrong
8. Being willing to apologize to my kids
9. Daily recognizing that I don’t have all the answers
10. Constantly seeking wisdom from my Bible, various resources, and other people
11. Having a thick skin. Kids aren’t always nice, especially when they are hurting
12. One can never have too much patience as a mom. Never ever.
13. Being willing to bite my tongue
14. Being humble
15. Being less about me and more about them
There are so many days that I feel as though I have failed miserably as a mom, but when I come back and focus on these 15 essentials, I get my head back in the game and am ready to go once again.
The truth is, being a mom isn’t easy and it is such a delicate dance, but it is a dance that we can continue trying to master every day. Some days, just like some seasons, are easier than others, but each day is a tremendous gift, each child is a genuine blessing, every challenge is a new opportunity to shine.
Hold fast to these 15 essentials, and we can get through this thing together.
This post is reflection of the book we are reading as a book club community. This is the book we are reading.
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World
Here is a bit more about our book club…
This book club is a way of encouraging others to carve out the time to read at a pace of just two chapters a week because I’ve learned that finding time to read never just happens on its own.
Generally, every Monday and Thursday there will be blog posts here with Monday’s Inspirational Reads somewhere in the title with my reaction to each of the two chapters for the week.
