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Marriage is a journey, a lifelong journey according to its design, but in many ways marriage is also a mystery. I am blessed to have received some timeless lessons on marriage from a man I know how has been married nearly 60 years. This wisdom helps take some of the mystery out of marriage. Really, to this man, marriage is pretty basic and can be broken down into these 5 timeless lessons that are evident in the way he lived his life every day.
Sadly, tonight I am going to a local funeral home for the visitation of his wife. This man is so gracious and wise, so loving and thoughtful, and I met him a few years ago at the gym I go to.
He is a 76 year old man who is so full of wisdom and love for the Lord, his wife, his family, and everyone around him. I just love talking with him, even when I leave after an hour with never having done my workout!
When I think about what marriage is truly intended to be, it would be this man and his wife who come to mind. I had only met her a couple of times but felt like I knew her because of the way he always gushed about her.
I am convinced that after nearly 60 years of marriage, he adored her each and every moment of his life. He would have moved heaven and earth for his beloved, and in many ways, he did.
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He often talks of how at times he worked three jobs so that he could provide for the wife and children he adored. His willingness to work 20 hour days, sometimes seven days a week, allowed his wife to have some of the niceties that she liked such as getting her hair done, having someone come into her home a few hours a week to help out, and to be able to buy many of the things that she wanted.
Throughout their married life, the love they had for one another was as vibrant as the day they met as a couple of young kids.
From where I sit, marriage is just hard some days, but this couple made it seem effortless to share their lives with one another.
In talking with him over the past couple of years, I’ve learned a few important things about marriage. These are such timeless lessons on marriage.
- Marriage can’t ever be a 50/50 partnership. Marriage in its true essence needs to be a 100/100 gift to the other person
- Marriage isn’t about how my husband is or isn’t meeting my needs, marriage is about what I can do to meet my husband’s needs
- Marriage isn’t about keeping score, marriage is about staying the course
- Marriage is designed to be a “die to self” attitude every day, and it is a choice that I must make regardless if I think I should have to or not
- Life is hard, but marriage is designed to divide the hard in half as couples carry the weight of the burdens together
As my husband and I embark on another 20 years of marriage, I pray that we can see nearly 60 years of marriage or more as well. I pray that we can exemplify the true meaning of marriage. I pray that I can look back on my married life and see that I gave more than I demanded. I pray that our love for one another appears in vibrant colors to those around us.
These five lessons on marriage are so vital in the life of a married couple. I pray that you find them as inspirational as I do.