When That Thing You Want is Always Just Out of Reach ~ Part Two
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This is the second of a four post series about how to deal with moving forward when that thing you want is always just out of reach. I’m guessing if you’ve been around for any length of time, you may have experienced this at one time or another, or, perhaps this sort of thing is still in your future.
The interesting thing about disappointment and life not going as we have planned or in the way we would like it to is that we can’t change it. Try as hard as we may, other than making adjustments, it is a rarity that we can do anything about things that are outside of our reach.
However, we can control how we respond to these things.
In the first post in this series, I shared the first four steps. They are to breathe, to not feel guilty about hurting, to spend time grieving that things are not the ay you want them to be, and then to begin processing through that thing you want being out of your reach yet again.
You can read that post by clicking here. Now, let’s move forward with the next four steps to take when that thing you want is always just out of reach.
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Get someone else’s perspective
It is amazing how hard it can be to see straight in any situation when we are right in the middle of it. This is especially true in difficult situations. We can only see through the lens of our pain, our disappointment, our frustration, or whatever other emotions we could be feeling. Seeking the advice and wisdom of someone you trust who is outside the situation can be so valuable here. However, I will also say that not all perspectives are created equal. It is important to seek out the perspective of someone appropriate to this situation. I actually wrote about that, too. You can read about that in 10 Qualities of a Friend Who Can Lift You Up When You Are Weak. When it comes to seeking the advice of others, make sure it is the best advice for you and your situation.
I am a reader. This is how I so often find wisdom in almost every situation. The sky is the limit with endless options of books, blogs, magazines, and other places to find wisdom. The sixth step in coping with disappointment in situations like this is to find wisdom. Again, be certain that it is true wisdom that you are finding. This is wisdom that is consistent with your beliefs, your morals and values, and religious beliefs, just to name a few.
Inspiration is similar to finding wisdom, however, while wisdom deals with the head, inspiration usually deals with the heart. Inspiration is so often the fuel that can keep us going. Inspiration challenges us to keep striving to climb out of the pit that we might find ourselves in, and it is inspiration that can simply put the wind in our sails when we are out of breath. Inspiration can come from many of the same places that wisdom comes from, yet inspiration can also come from recalling times when we have faced and overcome challenges in the past. Inspiration is such an important ingredient in this equation.
For me, it is at this point in the process that I must just accept. The situation is what it is, and it is something that I cannot change. Therefore, I simply must accept it as that before I can move forward any further. If you are thinking this is a hard thing, I can second that thought and say that it is.
Also note: acceptance is not surrendering, it is simply getting your feet back under you and being ready to move forward – most likely down a new path. No matter what your trial, challenge, or hardship is, the time to accept has come.
I think we can certainly all agree that life is full of bumps, roadblocks, and unexpected detours. In most cases, they are simply unavoidable. However, the longer I am alive and the more my expectations, hopes, and dreams are challenged, the better I get at learning to cope with them.
These trials and disappointments are never easy, but we still must weather the storm.
We have now moved through the first eight steps I find essential when it comes to coping with life when that thing you want is always just out of reach.
Tomorrow, we will move forward with four more steps to follow.