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One of the most powerful things I suggested yesterday when making a daily schedule when you’ve got kids at home was the importance of having individual time. If you missed that video you can watch it HERE. But, what individual time means is time alone for you and time alone for each of your kids. With 9 kids at home I know how impossible this might feel, but I am here to tell you that finding time for you with kids at home is totally possible. While getting up before your kids is a great way to make alone time happen, this isn’t want I’m even referring to here. I’m talking about scheduling a time in the midst of the day for everyone to have a little space and distance from one another. It works wonders!
Before you go any further, make sure you’ve grabbed our Daily Game Plan. It’s all about knowing exactly what to make time for every day and what you can let go of. There’s even a video with my best daily time saving tips. Just tell us where to send your game plan!
Finding time for YOU with kids home really is possible.
Why alone time matters
Making time for you gives you time to recharge
Daily life is draining. And as a busy mom you’re always there for your kids. Many times your day is filled with one interruption after another. This is what makes your ability to recharge so important.
Think of it like a breath of fresh air.
Time alone is also good for your kids
Independent time also gives your kids a chance to recharge. This is also important. I find this is especially true with how kids of today are largely inundated with the constant barrage of texts, emails, messages etc. As parents, teaching our kids healthy boundaries is important, and I strongly feel that boundaries from being able to be reached with a simple text at every single moment of the day and night is something we should be doing.
Think about this as a breath of fresh air for your kids.
Want to learn about this with a video? Just watch it below!
Here’s how to make alone time time happen for busy moms with kids home
1. Determine the time needed
I suggest starting small, maybe 15-20 in most cases if your kids are younger. If your kids are older, it is so amazing to be able to devote an hour to individual time.
If this is a new concept & you’re not sure how it will work, I will also suggest starting small in this case. Start with a smaller amount of time that you’d like to work up to. It will be a time of adjustment.
2. Determine the place that is appropriate for each person
For small kids we just had blanket time. This is what I called blanket training and kids as young as 9 months can be taught to stay on their own blanket with their own things. You just need to have a place for everyone in your family to have their own individual space apart from each other at least to a certain degree.
3. Gather some supplies
What will your kids be allowed to do during this time? Ideally, these are things they would only use during this time, may have to pick up a few things from the Dollar Spot at Target.
For your older kids, what would they like to do and what would they find relaxing? Start by asking and make sure you think it’s something that will benefit them.
I would highly, highly suggest that this is a device-free time for everyone – even mom!
4. Explain what is happening to your family
Be clear in your expectations, of course making it exciting. Let them know how much time is involved, and when this will start and end.
Your younger kids will likely see this as a fun adventure to try, especially if they have a few new little things to keep them entertained. Your older kids may give you a problem with it, but just get them to go along with it for only a week, telling them you’ll reevaluate at that time. A reward for being willing wouldn’t be out of the norm in my family.
5. Play quiet music during quiet time
Music signals the beginning and the end time. But it also brings an overall sense of peace and calm during this time. If the idea is to have individual time when people aren’t really interacting with one another, music can serve as a good reminder to that. It kids of acts like a buffer or boundary all on its own.
6. Stick to the time planned
When time is up, things get picked up and put away,. The ideal is that these are things that are only used during this time. I had little baskets for each person’s stuff and we literally called it their “special basket.” I think calling them this really resonates with the young kids.
This technique works best if your kids are using things they can only use during this time, at least for right now. I find that my kids of all ages look forward to this time for this very reason.
7. When to use independent or quiet time
You can use this technique up to twice a day.
It’a great to have this time scheduled, but you can also call this on the fly. In fact, you might even find this to be the most powerful way to use this technique.
I use this when I see that there seems to be more conflict between my kids than there usually is. This boundary and buffer gives everyone a little personal space, which gives everyone a little extra dose of tolerance once you’re all together again.
Sometimes we have an extra individual time when the noise level becomes epic. It’s a very calming activity, and calm personalities usually follow as a result.
Having alone time is essential for moms with kids at home. And, I would even argue that the benefits of alone time for kids are many, too.
Follow these steps and get just a few minutes of time to take a deep breath as early as today!