How to Create the Home You Want
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When describing your home to others, what are the words you would want to choose to describe it? What are the words you would want your husband, your children, or others to use to describe it? What feelings, images, and emotions do you want to be prevalent in the daily atmosphere of your home?
I refer to these thoughts as creating the culture of your home.
Our homes are the center of family life. Our homes are the beat of our collective heart. Our homes are the place where our children learn what love is, the place our children learn the skills that will follow them for the rest of their lives, and it is the place where they learn the fundamentals of relationships, sacrificing for others, and thinking of someone other than their own self.
As moms, we play a vital role in creating the heartbeat that underlies daily life in our homes.
When I first became a mom, I knew there were certain things that I wanted my home to be. Although these have been modified over the years, my main objectives still remain. At times these are so hard to live up to, but having these ideas well formed and then written down help draw me back on track when I tend to veer off the track and get lost in the hustle and bustle of life.
Read over my list and see if you have some of these same desires for your home. Then:
- Spend some time thinking about the culture you would like to create in your own home.
- Take your time. This is the heart of intentional living right here, and you will want to be sure that you capture your own heart here.
- Then, write your list down.
- Keep it with you all the time. My list has been copied into every notebook/planner I keep over the years.
The time you invest here will create a keepsake that you will treasure and that your family will benefit greatly from as well.
Here are the words and concepts I want to be chosen to describe my home.
- Haven of safety – the outside world may beat us up, but within the walls of our home we will always be loved and accepted. Unconditional love and acceptance will be shown that is not performance based, and harsh words may be spoken, but they will not linger.
- Welcoming – people will choose to be home when appropriate and want to be home rather than want to escape.
- Okay to fail – perfection is not expected because after all, if you can’t fail at home, where can you?
- Mistakes are accepted and even encouraged – the consequences of mistakes made are less severe when children are at home. I often tell my kids that life lessons will be learned somewhere, better they are learned when living at home when they will not be bearing the consequences of their mistakes alone. Mistakes made during their formative years makes for children who grow up to be mature, responsible, and persevering adults through lessons learned by going through the school of life.
- Nurturing – emotional, physical, and spiritual needs will be met in our home.
- Someplace we can be proud of – someplace we feel comfortable inviting others to. A beautiful home is as much about the people who live there as it is about the physical surroundings. A nicely decorated home doesn’t have to cost a fortune. I actually made money on it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and there are numerous tricks like here, here, and here, that can help create a beautiful environment in a pinch.
- Organized – a functional home needs to be at least somewhat organized. When people can’t find the things they need, it creates frustration and reflects an overall irresponsible image that can be a result of our lack of creating a home that is organized to a degree. These, these, these, and these are some great organization tips.
- Freedom to learn and grow – not just in school learning, but also in learning life skills. This includes everything from practical things like cleaning to time management skills, and homemaking skills, too. Even my boys will know how to clean toilets, do laundry, and make basic meals while my girls will know how to take out trash, cut the grass, and use basic tools.
- A place for structure, routine, and traditions – establishing these things from an early age are essential in creating a sense of security in our children. Traditions speak to the heart of our children whether they are fancy traditions or simple ones.
- A place where creativity is encouraged and nurtured – creativity in basic skills, in thinking, and in expression both verbal and non-verbal.
Creating a home is hard work, but when we have a game plan in place it helps direct the things we do every day. When life gets really busy, come back to your list and choose things that align and help promote these overall concepts first. In reality, everything else can take a backseat to the culture you are trying to create.
What a fantastic idea! I wish I would have put more thought into this when my kids were young. We created a really good space for them, but I love the idea of putting it into writing and being intentional in creating the home you want.
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I find it’s much easier for me to actually do things if I have a plan in place first. And, it clears up space in my brain that way 🙂
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