Lessons From a Former Yeller

The Intentional Mom Planning System is where you need to start with our incredible collection of product options. It will help you establish the basics for your life & home so you’ll finally have a plan, save yourself time, and go to bed feeling like you accomplished something every day (because you did). Save up to 60% HERE!

Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a former yeller. Here are the lessons from a former yeller. 

Are you a yeller when it comes to your kids? I was, too, for years and years. I can understand why, really, because somehow our kids just know how to push our buttons, and then to push them some more.

As moms we have to remind our kids of the same things day in and day out, we trip over the same things in their rooms day after day, they leave their messes around, they cause trouble among their siblings, and they seem to make the same mistakes over and over again all day, every day. All of these things and more can be a recipe for disaster, really.

As these things and so many others interrupt our day and come screaming to the forefront of whatever else is going on, it often starts with a physical heat in our face. If we were to look in the mirror we may even see our face get red, and we feel that toxic frustration rising from our toes right up to our throat where we can’t do anything but let that frustration and anger come spewing out.

Before we know it, we have passionately yelled at whomever has caused our distress (or maybe even someone else) in an attempt to squelch that rising fire of anger and frustration. Even though we promised ourselves we would not yell, we blew it, again.

Yep, I’ve been there more times than I would like to admit.

But through the years, I have found some things that tend to diffuse the situation by going through a few simple steps that bring the raging fire out to the periphery, which gives me the time I need to choose my reactions wisely.

These are the lessons I’ve learned as a yeller and the steps you can take to become a former yeller, too!

(this post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you)

1.  Time out. Walk away, literally, whether to my room, the bathroom, or even outside, I give myself a time out.

2.  Pray. I ask God to quiet my spirit and to guide me in how to deal with this situation as He would want.

3.  Open up by Bible. I have some specific passages highlighted on anger such as Ephesians 4:6, Psalm 37:8, Proverbs 15:1, and Ecclesiastes 7:9. I have these passages tabbed in pink right in my Bible.

4.  Journal. I sometimes call this my venting journal, but it is where I write as little or as much as I need to in order to clear my head and to decipher how it is that I am to handle this situation.

5.  Pray again.  I pray for God to keep my emotions in check, and to give me the words to deal with this situation as I go.

6.  Return and whisper. Yes, I whisper to whomever I need to deal with and although I may not whisper the whole time I am discussing things with them, I certainly speak quietly. I find that if I am speaking very softly and gently, it automatically keeps my emotions in check. It is really hard for anger to bubble to the surface within the context of a gentle spirit.

7.  Physical touch. I always, always, always, end a situation that has been de-escalated with physical touch of some kind, even if it is only rubbing their hand. It just ends what could have been a very heightened situation on a positive note.  

I would like to say I no longer yell at all, but emotions can be so hard to reign in, and old habits just die hard. But I can say, that I get it right most of the time.

I am still learning, growing, and changing, and you can, too. Extend yourself some grace for where you’ve been, and look to the future with hope because like me, you can choose a different path.

Print out these reminders, tuck them someplace handy, and pull them out the next time you feel that toxic anger begin to bubble up from your toes. You can do it!