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Generally, I avoid controversial topics like the plague. I do not like to get involved in politically heated discussions, and I even recently stated on social media that I do not think that social media is the proper format to share any rants or frustrations with others.
However, as someone who has been taken advantage of in a sexual way, I simply cannot stay silent anymore.
I have a voice and a platform on which to share it, so, I guess I’m going to take the opportunity that I have to be one of the voices speaking up on what is really going on with the transgender bathroom issue.
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I am not here to debate the feelings or struggles of those who are transgender. I am sure they are real, and they are something that should not be taken lightly or dismissed.
I am not even here to say that I have an issue with using a restroom at the same time as a transgender person is using the restroom or even if one my kids is using the same restroom as a transgender person.
In all honesty, I can’t really even give this idea much thought because I can’t seem to get past the horrifying reality that if anyone is truly allowed to use whichever restroom they feel like using, sexual predators have just been given a much easier way to acquire their victims.
While I can’t speak for the realities, feelings, and struggles of a transgender person, I can speak to the realities, feelings, and struggles of someone who has been the victim of a sexual predator. Twice.
So in my opinion, this gives me just a bit of credibility to speak on this topic.
Being taken advantage of sexually is not just something that happens to someone, it is something that haunts someone. For the rest of their life. Can you overcome the fear, the haunting flashbacks, the feelings of helplessness, and so much more? Sure, to an extent.
However, it is something that never, ever goes away.
It never goes away.
I repeated that just so maybe my point could be heard just a bit more.
Can someone become a sexual victim in a restroom or locker room under the “old rules?” Yes they can. I’m not here to argue that point either.
Also, I am not here to argue that every time someone uses a restroom or locker room they will fall victim to a sexual crime if the laws are changed in the current way that is being proposed and even implemented. I honestly don’t believe this will be the reality either.
If these changes occur, I’m sure there will be plenty of times that I will use a restroom and not become a victim of a sexual crime. In fact, I could use countless public restrooms that are open to people of any gender and never become a sexual victim. But, what if there is one time that I am?
I just don’t see how people can argue that if anyone is able to enter any restroom or locker room of their choosing, becoming a sexual victim isn’t more of a possibility under these new laws.
I just don’t see how there will not be at least some incidences of a sexual predator taking advantage of someone of the opposite gender in a restroom or locker room simply because they were given easier access to that person of the opposite gender in this way.
Furthermore, it would seem that unless someone can say with 100% certainty that sexual crimes of any kind won’t occur more easily with restrooms being void of any rules as to who can use them and who can’t, they certainly can’t be in favor of gender separation in restrooms being optional.
Here’s the thing about optional.
When someone is being overpowered sexually, being able to escape from the predator isn’t generally an option for that victim. Ask me how I personally know about that.
If there are times that I or my girls could possibly be overpowered by a sexual predator who is in the same restroom under the guise of being transgender when he really is a sexual predator, where are our options? Where are any female’s options?
Self defense classes? Carrying weapons? Hiring a bodyguard? Are these options?
Sure, I suppose these are options. But seriously, are these really an option for all women, girls, and even little boys who are using the women’s restroom with their moms before they are old enough to use the men’s restroom? And should they be our responsibilities as women or loved ones of women and girls simply because we would like to use a public restroom or locker room?
Please hear me. Lean in close.
I am not here to say that transgender people don’t have feelings, concerns, or rights. I believe that all people are a gift from God and that feelings are also God-given.
But, please hear my heart.
As a victim of two different sexual predators, this reality is beyond horrifying. I would be terrified for me, for my daughters, for your daughters, and for all women everywhere for what could result if this becomes our new reality.
And the reality is that sexual crimes could result more easily if there are no rules about gender and restroom use.
If sexual predators are given additional access to potential victims, some sexual predators will take it. This is reality, and this will not end well.
Sexual crimes are real. Survivors of sexual predators are real. Sexual predators are real.
I pray that this not be thrown around as it pertains to feelings and rights because this is not really what is at the heart of the matter.
This is about safety. Plain and simple.
We live in a world where there is too much judgement, too much misplaced criticism, and too much poking around in each other’s business when it doesn’t belong. I do not want to take part in any of that.
If you are offended by anything I have said, then read what I said again. Carefully.
I am not passing judgement, hurling around any criticisms as it pertains to the ways others choose to live their lives, or poking around in other people’s business.
Using the restroom is my business.
And, rather than focusing on playing nice with one another, we need to be focused on putting the safety of all females first and foremost.
I really hope that some sort of solution can be found, however, this is not it because of the safety risk it poses.
This is why the transgender bathroom issue really matters to everyone who either is a female, loves a female, or wants to promote safety for all females.
If you agree, even just in part with what I’ve written, please share. It really is that important.