Have you ever had to eat crow since becoming a mom? What does this mean? In this case, eating crow refers to all those things you thought or maybe even said while you were pregnant. Those things you said after standing behind the frazzled mom in the checkout whose crazy hooligans were hanging upside down off the front end of the shopping cart while the crazy rebel kids a few aisles over were rolling around on the nasty, grimy floors of the supermarket that was abuzz with screaming children, arguing parents, and people who just never should have had kids in the first place – at least according to your naive self. You know, that mom. Keep reading for some mom humor.
If we are honest as moms, I think we could all confess to some sort of this scenario being true in our own life.
Before you had kids, maybe as I did, you naively thought, “Why can’t she just keep those kids under control?!”
If you’ve been a mom for any length of time, I’m guessing that statement just gave you a good chuckle. I even laughed writing it. There were numerous times that I looked at a disheveled mom with a screaming, snotty, wildly thrashing toddler on her hip thinking, “That’ll never be me!” I stood there, rubbing my pregnant belly wondering who in the world “these moms” were.
Ah yes. Experience brings such wisdom, doesn’t it?
And experience can even make us eat crow a time or two. I think the more type-A perfectionist kind of women we were prior to having kids, the more crow we have to shove down our throats, would you agree?
Me? I’m a mom. Times nine. I’m eating crow all over the place!
Oh if only I could have a word with my pre-kid self. I’d have so much to say. Here are just 25 ways that I’ve had to eat crow in the 14 1/2 years since I’ve been a mom. Yep. I had these things, and more, in the bag.
Here’s your mom humor for the day!
- Mealtimes are a time for peaceful, thoughtful, and meaningful conversation with well mannered and soft-spoken children.
- My kids will always eat whatever I make them without complaint.
- Bedtime battles? Not in my house.
- Raise my voice? I won’t need to raise my voice because my kids will always listen to what I say.
- Repeat myself? I won’t have to do that either. My kids will listen to what I say right away and then snap right into action.
- On the rare occasion that my kids are being a bit resistant, I will just calmly deal with whatever it is. Case closed. Oh, and I will be as cool as a cucumber when I do it.
- My kids will never fight with one another. I will teach them to love one another and respect each other so there will simply be no reason for fighting then.
- Kids should only have to be shown how to do something once, maybe twice, and then I can simply move on to teaching them the next thing. No need to repeat myself further.
- As long as I continually show my kids love, they will only show me love in return.
- My kids will certainly never embarrass me like that!
- Why in the world is that kid running around the neighborhood in his underwear?! Did his mother not even get him dressed?!
- I am never going to let myself go like that. No matter how tired or worn out I am, I will not be a frump like her!
- Why is that child thrashing around like that on the floor? I have never seen such a thing.
- Did he just hit her? Why does that mother put up with her kid hitting her like that?
- My kids will never have a bedroom that looks like a tornado has gone through. They just won’t. My house, my rules. Period.
- If I know one thing, it’s that my kids won’t even try to argue with me. They will understand that what I say, goes.
- Did he just bite his brother? Has that mother not taught her children that they are not to bite? Good grief!
- Why do these people make this parenting thing out to be so hard? What’s the big deal anyways? If you teach your kids good behavior, manners, and a few other things your kids will behave most, if not all, of the time.
- I will teach my kids to respect authority so I know I won’t have to worry about any of my kids stealing anything, ruining anything, talking back, or disobeying anyone who is an authority figure in their lives.
- Whatever it is, I can just make them do it.
- Whatever it is, I can just make them not do it.
- My kid will never talk back to me like that! That is absolutely ridiculous!
- “Shut up” is a phrase that will never be said in my house.
- Swearing won’t happen in my house either.
- My kids will appreciate and recognize everything I do for them because I will teach them about the importance of gratitude.
Oh my. I could go on and on. So often I laugh at the things I thought prior to becoming a mom myself. I refer to these things as eating crow. Have you had to eat crow as a mom?
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Need some encouragement as a mom? Here is one of my favorite books, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe