How to Keep Your Focus on Being a Mom During the Holidays Part One

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Beginning today and continuing on both Tuesday and Wednesday, we are going to be stepping back and talking about how we can keep our focus on being a mom during the holidays.

As women, perhaps as working women, as daughters, sisters, friends, and even wives, we are so often pulled in several different directions, and this phenomenon is only accentuated during the holidays.

When we are being pulled in what seems to be a thousand different directions, it can be so easy to feel as though we’ve lost our way. Our focus is so often pointed elsewhere that we can feel as though we are failing as moms simply because our lives can’t be focused on this role as much as they usually are.

Then, there is often vast amounts of stress that comes our way with expectations, including impossible expectations placed on us at times, that only add to our frustration and exhaustion during this time.

If this is how you are feeling right now, then you are in the right place because I’ve got some tips for regaining just a bit of that person you feel as though you’ve lost.

Let’s start unpacking some of the ways that we can focus on being a mom during the holidays.

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Stop trying to be perfect

So often, especially with the demands of the holidays, we try to get everything done perfectly. Sometimes it is others who are also placing these expectations on us, but if you are anything like me, we are the biggest culprit in putting undue pressure on ourselves to get it all done perfectly.

In reality, we can’t please everyone, we can’t meet the demands of everyone, and disappointment will most certainly occur whether it is our own disappointment or the disappointment of others.

We aren’t going to accomplish anything perfectly, so we need to just stop trying. This very idea can be so very freeing.

Realize that you can’t do it all

We can’t do it all, but we can sure die trying, right? I hope not, and this thinking is what I’m wanting to address. We all have limitations, and we should. We all have boundaries, and we should have those as well.

These things are easy to say in theory, but they can be so hard to implement in every day life…especially if these limitations and boundaries are being put to the test by well meaning family members or friends.

Then there are the expectations we place on ourselves to get just one more thing done. We can make just one more gift or batch of cookies, we can squeak in one last party, and we most certainly can keep up with all of our usual activities and requirements while taking on all of these extra projects and activities, right?
I think we all recognize this as wrong, too.

However, the sooner we recognize and accept that we can’t do it all, the better. When we approach everything from the mindset of not being able to get it all done we will be more realistic in what we take on. Taking into account our limitations and our boundaries first means that we will know that we can’t do it all…and we won’t die trying!

We can take this to heart in a practical way by prioritizing the things we do through the filter of our mission statement. Doing this ensures that we are only doing things that are in line with who we want to be during this season in our life.

This step is also greatly helped by creating lists, which I find is helpful with a really good planning system or planner. I’ve got both a blog planner and a life planner that are amazing. Effective systems and delegating to others ways that they can help are also things that we can do to practice the art of not trying to do it all.

Create peace in your life

This is something we must be intentional in. Peace, calm, and fulfillment won’t automatically grace our lives. These are things we must reach out and take.

Creating peace in your life can happen in all kinds of ways. One of my favorite ways to make sure that each day contains at least a few moments of peace is to create what I call “pockets of calm” in my book, A Realistic Action Plan For the Weary Mom: 15 Days of Hope From The Intentional Mom, I also talk about creating your own pretty place in my book. Your pretty place doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it has to be an area, even just a small area that breathes life into your soul.

My pretty place in an area in my bedroom. Oftentimes my bedroom becomes the dumping grounds for random things that no one wants to take care of or isn’t sure how to take care of. With a large family, I’m sure you can imagine how my bedroom can quickly become something that isn’t quite so pretty. However, when it comes time for me to embrace a pocket of calm, I can quickly tidy up this specific area of my room.

Creating some peace in your life is essential to helping you maintain your your focus as a mom during this busy time of year.

Find contentment and thankfulness in your life

This is a cure to so many of the things that can get our feelings out of whack, but there is a place for this idea within the context of regaining our focus as moms.

Yes there is stress in your life right now. Yes you have added demands in your life right now. You may even have strained relationships to deal with as well, but there is always contentment and thankfulness to be found. However, you do have to look for these things.

During the holidays, it can be so easy to lose our way as moms. We can become overwhelmed, overstressed, and lose our way. The four tips I have shared today, and the tips that I will share on both Tuesday and Wednesday are basic things that we can do to help maintain our focus as moms.

If you are a mom who has lost her focus in the hustle and bustle of the season, here’s the help you need to get back on track.