A Realistic Action Plan for Getting it All Done as a Stay At Home Mom

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Whether moms who work outside of the home, moms who do outside work at home, or moms whose work involves being a wife, mom, and homemaker, all moms seem to share a universal concern – how to get it all done. Every single mom I asked, and myself as a young mom, too, all asked how in the world they can ever juggle it all.

Every single seasoned mother I asked answered the question the same way: you can’t, which leads me to my first point.

1. You need to shift your perspective to realizing that you can’t get it all done. You can’t do everything you did before you were a mom. There is no way to possibly keep your house the way it was before you had children. There is no way to make the nightly gourmet meals you made before you had children. There is no way to go all the places you used to go, to keep the schedule you used to keep, to complete the same tasks at the same time and in the same way as you used to. Just like your body is forever changed, your life is forever changed, too. Recognizing these limitations allows you the freedom to not fulfill the weighty expectations you put on yourself. As one seasoned mom said, “You need to let go of the things that used to be important to you, because the struggle is trying to continue holding these things up as the most important things to you when you are already putting your children there. Both cannot occupy the same space.” Read that quote again. Your child or children now occupy the most important space in your heart, so the things from your former life simply cannot fit there anymore, so don’t try to make them. It just won’t work. This realization, this shift in perspective, is perhaps the most freeing thing you will read throughout this series.
2. Develop a routine. Of course there are numerous times in the day where things always come up that are unplanned (I affectionately refer to life in my home as controlled chaos for this reason), but having a routine in place creates anchor points of stability that will make the out of control interruptions easier to manage. When we experience things that make us feel out of control, having some things that we do feel in control of to return to keeps the feeling of being overwhelmed at bay. Routines are things like schedules for mealtimes, naptimes, and even housework, errands, and, yes, our quiet times, too. The more routines you can establish in your day, the more likely you are to successfully juggle it all since a few minor details won’t derail you.
3. Establish your own quiet time. Start by reading my post here. What you do with your quiet time is totally up to you. Maybe it is just a chance for you to do some cooking or cleaning in peace, but develop a regular quiet time in your day.
4. Create your own beautiful place. The easiest space to do this in is your own bedroom. This is why I always make my bed (at least I did back in the day when my husband wasn’t sleeping in my bed during the day because he works nights). This is why in my room I have a vase of flowers, at least one scented candle, and pretty furnishings (which don’t have to be expensive, read more on that here.) Just like it can lift your spirits to wear something pretty whether an outfit, some perfume, makeup item, or accessory, having pretty surroundings can help you maintain focus, to feel grounded, and to remain in control of your emotions. The reality is that your home will never be completely “done.” As soon as you are done cleaning up one mess another is created when you live with children. However, creating a beautiful space in just one little corner of your world will stabilize you.
5. Reach out for help. You will see this idea other places in this series, but nearly all of the seasoned mothers offered this piece of advice in reference to the question of juggling all the demands moms face. Grandmas and grandpas are often itching for time with their grandchildren if they have it to give, older moms you know miss feeling needed once their children are all gone, and friends wish they knew how to help at times. Reach out and ask for help. This concept of reaching out can be hard because some can see this as failure. Oftentimes moms feel like a failure if they can’t manage the life they have – the life they wanted. Seasoned moms want you to know that you haven’t failed if you ask for help, you’re just being human. This especially applies if you are a single parent. There is no harder job in the world, it would seem to me.

If you are wondering how to meet all the demands you face, know that this same feeling was expressed by every other young mom who was asked to share the concerns that are on her heart. Equally reassuring is that every seasoned mom wanted you to know that you need not feel like you have to get it all done.

Seasoned moms want you to give yourself grace to accomplish some things while letting other things go. In the overall picture of life, it is not the things you do that will be the most important, but the impact you make on the world around you, which includes the hearts and lives of your children. Try gaining a new perspective, establishing some anchor points to cling to, creating a beautiful space for yourself, and finding someone who can offer just a little bit of help. You don’t have to do it all, we seasoned moms give you permission!

You can find hope in the first post in the series, What in the World Have I Gotten Myself Into?! here

You can find An Action Plan for the Overwhelmed Mom here

You can find An Action Plan for the Mom Who is Stuck at Home here

You can find An Action Plan for Connecting With Other Moms here

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for Dealing With the Never-Ending Responsibilities of a Mom here

Come back tomorrow when I will tackle A Realistic Action Plan for Getting It All Done as a Mom Who Works Outside of the Home.

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