I wrote a bit about my call to be intentional here. I have written about the importance of loving our families and living fully in the moments we are given.
Of course we all know these things, and we all have basically the same reasons for wanting to love our loved ones more. We all know and feel that each day is a gift, and we all know that none of us are promised a tomorrow, either.
I am not reinventing the wheel with these concepts.
But, let me give you a little bit of perspective and give you a heartfelt reason to not wait one more minute to do this. Not one.
It is really nice to live with a paramedic nursing student for a husband. I rarely have to worry about injuries or medical problems of any kind. This is really great. Maybe some of you have the same type of setup.
My husband works nights, sleeps days, and school is all over the place so his schedule is really wonky, but he is often sleeping during the day.
Yesterday, my husband was soundly sleeping upstairs in bed when my 12-year-old Skateboard Guy kind of rolls, kind of falls to the floor, hitting his body and head on our living room table on the way. For the first couple of seconds I thought he was goofing around in some way, but when I saw his head and body flop to the side in a most unnatural way, I knew this was no joke.
I’ve never seen someone have a seizure, but this is what it looked like to me. I jumped on him to keep him on his side while saying his name over and over again. No response. His eyes were very wide, and his body was not normal. I will spare you the details because I already replay them over and over in my head enough and I am trying to forget what he looked like, but I hope I never have to experience that EVER again.
Once it was over, I felt the weight of knowing that something may be very, very wrong with this boy who is so full of spunk and so full of life, especially when it comes to testing the limits. I don’t think you ever really know what it feels like to have the rug pulled out from under you until it is. I was that person who has their life completely turned upside down in the blink of an eye.
Don’t wait until you are that person. Just don’t do it.
We don’t have an answer, we wait and see if it happens again. His doctor is in close contact, and he is rarely being left alone at this point. The wait is agonizing, but it may never happen again, and the more time that goes by, the less shaken I feel.
I have given this boy/man more hugs, real hugs, in the past 36 hours than he has received in the past five years. I am confident of this. He is handling it well. He understands. He let me just hold him in my arms and weep for a good five minutes yesterday, after all, he is my sensitive boy. My son knows that I am not one to hover, and I have been hovering. A lot. He knows that I was scared like I have never been scared before. I appreciate this so much. I am so thankful that he is letting me process this event this way.
The moral of the story is, though, don’t wait. Hug your loved ones. Today. All of them. Even if you are not a hugger. Hug them anyway. Tell them you love them. All the time. Because like me, you can watch the unthinkable unfold in a heartbeat. You will never look back when your world is turned upside down and say that you wish you would have loved less. You will look back and say that you should have loved more. No matter how much you love. You cannot love too much.
Don’t be left wishing you had spent your moments differently. Love deeply. Right now. Go.