Is there anything that is more difficult than trying to get out the door for church? Not in my house. How is it that so many things can go wrong all at the same time—and on the same day each week? This is one of the great mysteries of the universe, in my opinion.
I write this with ease, because nearly ALL of these happened to me yesterday. I should also say that I don’t have a husband who comes to church with me since he works nights on the weekends and is sleeping. So, these things are only multiplied since I am a single parent on these days (as on most days with a husband who works full-time and is a full-time student).
I hope these things give you a good laugh—go ahead you can laugh all you want at my expense. Hopefully, you can relate to some of these and feel just a bit better knowing that these things DON’T just happen in YOUR home!
- Everyone gets up late, including you.
- You wake up to discover a giant pimple in the middle of your forehead or nose.
- Milk gets spilled all over the floor during breakfast.
- At least one kid wears something you don’t want them to wear and puts up a fight about changing.
- At least one child gets their church clothes dirty in some way before you even leave.
- The baby is in dire need of a diaper and outfit change within 15 minutes of leaving.
- At least one child has a shoe that is nowhere to be found so they are left wearing shoes that are the wrong size or no shoes at all.
- You left yourself plenty of time to put on makeup, only to realize that in actuality, that time has been whittled away by others who needed help, leaving you with only enough time to try to disguise the before mentioned mountain on your face.
- Forget having time to brush your teeth. You’ll just have to brush your teeth in the car on the way.
- While you are trying to get out the door, the kids waiting in the car have started WWIII.
- Keys? What keys? They are MIA.
- Once you get on the road having found the keys in the most random place you can imagine, the time on the car in the clock leaves you with two minutes to get there when it really takes 12.
- You hit every light red…and WWIII gets louder.
- Your late arrival leaves you with enough seats only in the FRONT of church.
- As you look over at your children, you can identify what at least one of them had for breakfast on their face.
- After the service you discover that at least one kid has completely ignored the rule and had way more cookies than you allow.
- As you pull out of the parking lot someone says, “Hey, where’s (insert name of young child)? You do a head count to realize that you are in fact missing one.
Hopefully the next time you’re headed out the door when chaos erupts, you can smile, laugh, and just take things one step at a time.
Do you have anything to add to this list?