A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who Longs to Find Fulfillment

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Let’s face it, much of being a mom is repetitive day in and day out with the everyday responsibilities and requirements we all face whether we are working moms, stay at home moms, or somewhere in between. The demands are high, the rewards are few and far between much of the time, and the challenges moms face, the feelings moms have, and the worries moms have seem to be so common among us all as evidenced by the things all of the moms who took part in this informal survey of mine shared with me.

I don’t know about you, but no one prepared me for many of these things. Nobody warned me that I would feel overwhelmed, under qualified, and just downright exhausted much of the time. Of course I knew it couldn’t be all rainbows and sunshine, but I didn’t know how these ones I love so much could also be so very hard to like at times. Are you with me here? I’m guessing you are because moms I talked to in this survey sure were.

So, what do we do when the days are long, when we are running on empty, and when it can be so hard to find any fulfillment in what we are doing? This series has been full of practical ideas you can put into practice starting right now that can address so many of our common concerns. I do want to again make mention of being thankful, grounding yourself, and finding your “thing” – that thing that you do just for you. These are all relevant in finding fulfillment, too, but I think giving younger moms perspective is the thing all of the seasoned moms wanted to stress the most in what they shared with me, and as a seasoned mom I agree as well.

The perspective it is so helpful to keep in mind is that motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. It is an incredibly long journey that winds through lush valleys, rocky and thorny terrain, and up mountains that can seem impossible to conquer at times.

Others have likened motherhood to a symphony. I was a flautist for years, and as a member of a full symphonic orchestra I had the pleasure of playing several symphonies. Generally, symphonies are comprised of separate movements. Some are lively, spirited, and harmonious while other movements are somber, slow, and even depressing with notes that seem to clash. Some movements are only a few lines of music, and others take up entire pages on their own. 

Although they are all different, the movements in a symphony all have a common thread, a common melody that at times might be in the forefront while at other times you will hear the same melody strategically hidden in the background. Together they form the entirety of the piece, which as a whole is a cohesive musical story.

Are you seeing how motherhood is much like a symphony?

Interestingly, all the movements of a symphony are equally important, but no one movement defines the entire piece. In the same way, no day, no week, month, or year defines you as a mother, either. In this way, when you feel like a failure, which we all do more times than most of us care to admit out loud, these failures don’t define you. Keeping this overall perspective in mind can help us find fulfillment in the everyday reality in which we live as a mom.

That was an awful lot on perspective.

So what is the action plan then? How can we find fulfillment in our days in addition to keeping things in perspective for the longterm?

• Write a mission statement as a mom. A mission statement gives you a filter through which to sift the everyday things you do.
• Demonstrate the behaviors you want your children to reflect back to you. For me these things are to be gracious, selfless, kind, faithful, responsive, responsible, and to have a strong faith. The things that are important to you may look different from mine, but decide on the behaviors that you want your children to reflect and then do them. Children are our mirrors whether we like it or not.
• Anchor your days as a family. Getting everyone started off on the right foot everyday is so important. Grounding your family in prayer, Bible reading, reflection, or just some healthy conversation is so helpful whether everyone is dashing out the door headed in different directions or spending yet another day all together in a home environment.
• Surround yourself with beauty. Buy some beautiful things to wear that make you feel pretty. No money to spend? Do what I did here, and purge the old stuff to buy “new to you” used stuff. Surround yourself with some beautiful things for the house – use the same method or pick some wildflowers, recycle something you have in a new way, or make something beautiful DIY style.
• Do some things you enjoy. Things like plant flowers, start a garden, experiment in the kitchen, cook meals that you like (even if on one else does at times), and take up DIY projects that let your creativity shine.
• Get rid of the life-drainers in your life. These are the things that bring you down. Maybe you need to limit social media that only gives you the pretty picture of life, maybe it is a certain friend or acquaintance who doesn’t respect your boundaries or tends to overreach, or perhaps it is a certain show you watch that takes up way too much of your time. Find the life or time suckers and let go of them.

Straight from the mouths of a couple of seasoned moms are these ideas:

• worry less, let go more
• stress less, laugh more
• sulk less, find thanks more
• be negative less, and be positive more
• wish for more less often while finding contentment more
• or, you could do what my good friend does and wear sexy shoes around your bedroom for a little pick-me-up 😉

Your life as a mom is a symphony that in its whole will be a cohesive story. You can find fulfillment in the every day by putting many of these practical suggestions into place starting today! Others, like creating a mission statement, will take a bit of work. Being a mom is certainly a high calling, but it is also the most rewarding thing you will ever do.

Speaking of a mission statement, that is the bonus to this 15 day series. Tomorrow, as an added bonus, I will guide you through making your own mission statement as a mom. I have found nothing of greater value in my life as a mom than creating my own mission statement that is specific to the mom I want to be.

The final day in this series will be devoted to pulling everything all together from this 15 day journey.

This post is the 13th in a 15 day series 15 Days of Hope for the Weary Mom, that is taking us through the rest of the month of May. Come back to find more throughout this month, or subscribe to get the new posts delivered right to your inbox. By the way, if you did the math on the remainder of the month, you may have discovered that there is a bonus coming at the end since there are still four days left in the month.

You can find hope in the first post in the series, What in the World Have I Gotten Myself Into?! here

You can find An Action Plan for the Overwhelmed Mom here

You can find An Action Plan for the Mom Who is Stuck at Home here

You can find An Action Plan for Connecting With Other Moms here

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for Dealing With the Never-Ending Responsibilities of a Mom here

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for Getting It All Done as a Stay at Home Mom here.

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for Getting It All Done as a Working Mom here.

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who is Afraid She is Doing it All Wrong here.

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who Worries That It’s Too Late here

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who Has No Role Model in Being a Mom here.

You can find A Realistic Action Plan For the Mom Who Is Depressed here.

You can find A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who Desperately Misses Her Freedom here.

 You can find A Realistic Action Plan for the Mom Who is On Her Own here.